Wasting Away
by charl88
Summary: Ryan Evans nervously opened the bottle of painkillers and poured half of the bottle into his hand. He threw the bottle onto the bed and stared at the small white tablets that were resting on the palm of his hand.


He placed the bottle of Vodka on the beside cabinet and the bottle of painkillers beside it. He picked up a picture of the wall and smiled at it and placed it beside the Vodka and the painkillers. He looked at the picture and sighed. He was about to hurt the one person that truly mattered to him but this had to be done. He needed to do this.

He couldn't believe that it had come to this. He promised himself that he would never go this low. No matter how things bad got, he always swore that he would never go down this road. But here he was. Taking that road. He had finally hit rock bottom, his life wasn't worth living anymore. This is what he had to do. He knew that it was going to hurt his sister and he hated that but he hated the fact that he was alive more.

Ryan Evans nervously opened the bottle of painkillers and poured half of the bottle into his hand. He threw the bottle onto the bed and stared at the small white tablets that were resting on the palm of his hand. He picked up the bottle of Vodka that was on the beside cabinet. This is what it had all come down to. Ryan was now holding a bottle of Vodka and painkillers in his hand. He didn't think that his life would come down to this but it has and now this was the only solution to putting a stop to everything.

He took a large swig from the Vodka bottle and shuddered slightly. It was too strong for him. It burned as he swallowed and it slid down his throat. He coughed slightly from the aftertaste. How pathetic was that? He couldn't even handle a drink. He searched for a piece of paper and a pen and eventually found one. He quickly scribbled a note for the one person who understood him. The one person who truly loved him for him. The one person that meant the most to him in his life. His sister.

_Dear Sharpay,_

_I don't know how to say sorry for what I have done. I know I told you that I would never get to this stage but I have and for that I am truly sorry. I know I have hurt you in ways I never wished. I promised that I would never leave you but I have. But please understand that I never meant to hurt you. I just couldn't handle all the taunting anymore._

_You were not only my sister but you were my best friend. You were there for me when nobody else was. You didn't judge me no matter what I did or who I became. You were truly the only person that I could count on. I told you everything. There was nothing that you didn't know about me and you just sat and listened as I told you all my feelings, all my emotions and you didn't laugh or judge. You were always there for me._

_You made me smile when I was down, you left me alone when you knew I didn't want to be bothered and you stuck up for me when I was being bullied. I just wish that I could have done more. I wished I could have been the big brother that you deserved. I wished that I could have been there for you when you needed it, wished I could have comforted you when you were upset but I couldn't. I found myself unable to care and comfort you like you deserved._

_People perceive you as an 'Ice Queen' but that is because they don't know the real you. The Sharpay that wipes the tears from my eyes, the Sharpay that cleans my wounds, the Sharpay that stays with me as I cry myself to sleep at nights. That is the true Sharpay and I just wished that people could just see who like I saw you._

_Please don't mourn my Shar. I wasn't worth it. You need to be able to move on with your life. Please don't forget me though. I am not really gone. Everytime you sing, everytime you dance I will be there beside you. Everytime you're sad I will be there to help to comfort you. I will always be in your heart all wherever you are._

_I love you Sharpay, more than you will ever know. _

_Love your brother_

_Ryan_

_x_

He signed the letter so elegantly with his signature. He placed a soft kiss on the letter and carefully placed it inside an envelope, trying not to cry as he did so. He wrote 'Sharpay' nicely on the front of the envelope and underlined it with a kiss, and propped it up against his pillow. He made sure that his sister would be able to see the letter when she entered the room.

He took another swig of the Vodka and took a few of the painkillers. He could feel himself becoming a little bit dizzy as he took a few more of the painkillers and another swig of the Vodka. He sat down on the bed carefully and thought about his life. What had he really done with his life? He hadn't really achieved anything. He had an average GPA of 3.5, he wasn't a member of any sports teams and he didn't participate in any clubs. Well except the Drama Club. But what did that really count? It wasn't a good way for his reputation to be raised and a guy being apart of Drama…well ain't exactly normal. Especially when he is always with his younger twin sister Sharpay. He remembered the first time that he discovered he wanted to act and couldn't help but smiling. He owed a lot to that day. Seeing the production made him the person that he was today.

_Flashback_

_Ryan and his sister Sharpay had been taken along to watch a theatre production of Grease at the local theatre. Ryan and Sharpay were only nine at the time and they really didn't understand the concept of the theatre but they seemed to be enjoying it._

_Ryan sat through the performance shocked. It had completely amazed him. He watched with amaze at the elegance of the dancing, the way they said their lines perfectly, the emotions they placed into each of the words they spoke. And when they looked into each others eyes, there was energy, passion, release._

_Ryan knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to sing and dance like the actors he had seen that night. He wanted people to be amazed as they watched him move elegantly across the stage. They wanted them to gasp when he opened up his mouth and sang. He wanted to be able to act. He wanted to be able to feel like he was in the character when he danced._

_He decided that he was going to ask his parents for acting and dancing lessons. He was going to make them proud of him eventually. He knew that acting and dancing on stage wasn't the best career choice but Ryan loved the way the audience cheered when the act was done, the way the actors looked as they took a curtain call. The theatre called for Ryan and he knew that he had to be a part of it._

_End flashback_

And from then on Ryan knew that acting was his calling card. He and Sharpay had started acting and dancing lessons the following week from the performance. Their parents were happy that they had found something that they wanted to do. It didn't take them long to pick up the act and the dancing. They began to shine as they went onto stage and wowed the audience with their work. It made Ryan feel confident and happy. There was something that he loved, something that made him feel like he wasn't in this world anymore. Dancing was different to other activities he had tried. When he danced it was like there was no one else in the room. It was just him and the music. He could but all his soul, all his heart, all his emotions into the dancing. He could dance according to his emotions. Dancing was his life. That was what he wanted to do when he became older.

He wished that he could have kept the life that he had back then but that wasn't going to happen. Back then he had no worries, no pressure, no stress. But now everything was different. He had to worry about High School, he had the pressure from Sharpay to make sure that he performed to standard so they were able to get the leads in the School production. And stress. No one understood the amount of stress that Ryan was under. Everyday he got beat up at school because of who he was.

He had come out two months ago at East High and his life had been hell since. Most of the people were fine with the news. Most of them figured that Ryan was gay anyways because of the way he dressed, talked and acted. It didn't bother them that he was gay, they were proud that he had the courage to come out and admit that he was gay. However some people didn't see it like that. They thought that being gay was a crime and they were not about to give poor Ryan Evans a congratulations for his courage. Oh no. They were going to give him something completely different. The beating of his life.

_Flashback_

_Ryan walked down the corridor of East High. He had just come out and told everyone that he was gay. It had gone better than expected. He thought that people would have been disgusted, but they weren't. Some of the students had even congratulated him for his courage._

_He was happy. He was happy that so many people were accepting of his secret. Although he did get some sounds of disgust but he was expecting that. There would always be people that weren't happy about someone being gay. Ryan tried to ignore the sounds of disgust. Those people weren't worth it._

_He bumped into someone in the corridor and looked up to apologise but then he noticed who it was. Troy Bolton and his posse. They ran East High School. Troy Bolton was the Golden Boy and the Basketball Team captain. All the girls wanted to date him and all the guys wanted to be him. You couldn't tell them what to do._

"_Watch where the hell you going you stupid fag" spat Troy. Troy, along with his lunkhead Basketball team, were the people that hated the fact that Ryan was gay. They had made the loudest noises of disgust. Ryan knew that they despised gay people, which is why it had taken him a long time to come out, and he knew that they were about to give him a hard time because of it._

"_Sorry" he mumbled quietly not making eye contact with them. To tell the truth, Ryan was scared of Troy and his Basketball team. They had never got on and it didn't help that Ryan was the brother of Sharpay Evans and Co-president of the Drama Club. It wasn't a good way to get a reputation. Especially in High School._

"_Sorry what?"_

"_Sorry Mr Bolton" Ryan groaned and this caused Chad and Troy to laugh. They were going to make Ryan's life hell because of the revelation that he had just made._

_Chad pushed Ryan up against the lockers and punched him in the stomach causing Ryan to groan in pain. Chad dropped Ryan to the floor and Troy and Jason went and kicked Ryan in the sides and Troy punched him in the face._

_The other Basketball jocks watched and laughed. "There you go fag and you can expect that everyday" Troy spat and walked off leaving a bloody and barely conscious Ryan lying on the hallway floor. All he could hear where the muffled laughter's of the group as they walked away and talked about the upcoming Basketball game._

_End Flashback_

And since then Ryan has had a beating from the Basketball jocks everyday. Sharpay is the only person that knows it happens. Sharpay is the person that helps Ryan up from the ground, Sharpay is the person that helps clean Ryan up of the blood, Sharpay is the only person to see the true Ryan. The hurt, scared Ryan.

He hadn't done anything else in his life. He didn't have any friends, only those that were friends with Sharpay but Ryan just tagged along with them and kept quiet. He knew they didn't want to talk to him, no one ever did. He was worthless. He knew what Troy was saying about him. He was a useless, worthless fag that didn't deserve to be alive.

He took the rest of the painkillers and had some more of the Vodka. He picked up the picture of Sharpay from the bedside cabinet and held it tightly. He kissed the picture and smiled weakly. Sharpay was his life. If it hadn't been for Sharpay then he didn't think that he would be able to be where he was today. Sharpay had helped him through all the bad times. She was always there no matter what the problem and she never judged him. She offered comfort and support with everything. She was his life, his rock, his best friend.

He started crying as he thought about Sharpay and what he was doing to her. He felt himself becoming dizzy and could feel himself slipping in and out of consciousness. He began to regret what he was doing. It was a stupid idea. He couldn't leave Sharpay. He promised he wouldn't. He wished that he hadn't done this. He needed to try and stop it. He weakly placed a hand upon the end of the bed and lifted himself up. He slowly started to make his way to the bedroom but he couldn't hold on any longer.

He collapsed to the floor and started to shake slightly. This was it. He was dying. He could feel himself being surrounded by darkness. The darkness that would take him out of this life forever. The life that he had grown to hate. He would finally be free from the hurt and the pain that he had to feel.

He started closing his eyes and became weaker. His breathing started to become slower and he couldn't make out the shape of his room. He had enough energy to call out her name. "Sharpay" came a weak whispered voice.

And that was it.

Ryan Evans was dead.


End file.
